Slowly (not slowly) Going Insane

iluvbongrips:
💀💀💀💀
step out the palace with my tunic on, im so bad i could turn a eunuch on

cipheramnesia:
mittensv:
daughter-of-sapph0:
wait a minute! this isn’t women’s professional wresting! this is lesbian sex!
Wrestling fans ask me about my sex life like, “So which one of you is the heel and which one of you is the face?”

knottahooker:

crystallizedtwilight:
whoops
#when you set out for revenge dig two graves #unless you’re hamlet #in which case you’re going to want to rent a backhoe (x) YOU’RE NOT LEAVING THAT IN THE TAGS BUDDY

vexwerewolf:

fuckdamn:
hozey-nevergoingtochurch:
maplebungus:
heartshapedbasil:
your man doesn’t have the mental strength to caramelize onions
your man thinks it takes 5-10 minutes to caramelize onions
Who’s fucking carmelizing onions?
Have you sociopaths forgotten that apples exist?
do you think caramelizing onions is putting caramel on onions
your man thinks caramelizing onions is putting caramel on onions

shieldfoss:

sleepynomi:

whyamionlyabletouse32characters:
*dreamy sigh* fruit juice :]
*pulling my gay vampire lover away from my neck* the fuck did you just call my blood

zlobskiy:

bishopfish:
bishopfish:
Imagine being a tuna (Atlantic bluefin, Thunnus thynnus). You are a super predator, over six feet long and almost a ton. You are as beautiful and shiny and mercilessly efficient as a sports car, a true marvel of the sea. But you taste so fucking good
I agree with you and also think this is some kind of philosophical point. Cruel efficiency will not save you when you have soft delicious insides
i have good news for the person who wrote that tag and bad news for sports car drivers

womanarchy:

most convincing Tumblr ad I’ve ever received. almost made me download whatever shitass dating app that is

turing-tested:

scatterbrainedadventurelog:
turing-tested:
do NOT offer me a big spoon if you see me with a small one. i know what im fuckin doing
can i offer a smaller spoon?
absolutely! finally, someone with some sense around here

girlballs:

one of those days on the dashboad i guess